Garage Sale Adventures

GarageHumor

By Cindy Argiento

When you’re a kid, you don’t want your brother or sister’s hand-me-downs. When you’re an adult, you go to consignment shops and garage sales to pay for a stranger’s hand-me-downs.

We recently held a garage sale. To prepare for the sale, we had to sift through our belongings and decide what to sell. This process can actually take longer than the garage sale itself.

I started with my closet. With the clothes dryer working against me and shrinking my clothes slowly over the years, it was time to bid farewell to certain outfits. However, there are clothes that all women are happy to part company with: maternity clothes. We don’t need reminders that we gained weight equal to the size of a baby elephant, only to give birth to a six-pound baby girl.

Tackling the garage was another adventure. There are things that for one reason or another can’t be sold. After cleaning and spray painting an old mirror, we decided to keep it as it looked better than when we first got it. There was the plate that we don’t like; but couldn’t give away or sell as our names and the date were engraved on the back. Not sure what to do with it, we threw it back into the pile of questionable junk that we won’t look at it until our next move, when we’ll have to pack it again.

Watching my husband move the treadmill out to the driveway, I thought how that was the most exercise either one of us got from it the whole time we had it. I wondered if someone would buy it, bring it home, and happily ignore it the way we did for so many years. Sure, we hung clothes on it, but as for walking on it, ha! Had I walked, do you think I’d have to sell all those clothes that the dryer shrunk?   

With merchandise cleaned and priced, we were ready for business. Things were going well until the mime showed up, a lady who bargained not with words, but with fingers. She held up a blouse, I told her the price. She shook her head and held up some fingers indicating her price. We went through this for every item. No words were spoken. I was haggling with a mime! This lady was great. I followed her example, stopped talking and did business silently. One finger, two fingers, the more fingers the merrier I was! When all ten fingers were held up I was ecstatic!

With the next customer, I decided to keep the ball rolling and use the mime technique of dealing. She held up an item, I held up a finger. She looked at me, threw the item down and walked off in a huff. Oops! Wrong finger! My bad!

And so endeth my garage sale adventure.

Cindy Argiento is a freelance writer. She is a public speaker for her book “Deal With Life’s Stress With ‘A Little Humor.’“ To contact her or to book her for your next event, go to cargiento@nullaol.com

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